apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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