I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
