i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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