I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
