Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
