Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
