I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
