i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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