I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
