i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
