I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
