This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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