That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she smelled like a LAN party
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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