Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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