yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
