Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
