Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
