ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
