I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
