Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
