i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
