i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize