She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
