____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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