i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What a dumb baby whore.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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