I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
