Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
