I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
