using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
