this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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