let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
