problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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