I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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