Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
