i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize