If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
well most of my day revolves around power hour
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
