wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize