based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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