we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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