i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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