How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize