I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
