Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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