What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
