i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
