the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
