go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
