so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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