I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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