he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
