They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
