i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
