I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
