At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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