i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry about my life...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
