You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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