Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
