Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
