mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
