I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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