did you get engaged???
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
