READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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