You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
