I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
