READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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